eight years on.

After that ridiculously maddening shoot in China, I'm back in Hong Kong and loving it. Loving the solitude of my home, loving the not-too-hot weather, loving broadband internet connections, loving the Madrid Masters. Haha.

I got up "early" today because I had to go see the director of photography - he's flying out so I saw him off at Kowloon station. Since I was up, I went to see a movie. At the cinema, I realized there was only one film I wanted to see: Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

The film, which is really a love affair with Spain, is quirky and gorgeously romantic. The four lead characters - a guy and three girls - were beautifully believable, the situation dreamy yet realistic. What a film. It brought out the dreamy romantic in me, the girl I was seven, eight years ago when I was at university without a care in the world. How I miss those days!

As I walked around Elements to buy a notebook - because the film inspired me to write again - the conversation in my head, however, was me at age 29 and not me at 21... How things have changed.

Eight years ago, I was a little like Cristina. I had things I wanted to express but was (am!) not talented or gifted. I was free-spirited, open-minded, up for anything including chance encounters with anyone creative, artistic, romantic. Eight years on, I'm not like that anymore. I'm not a Vicky (thank God) but there are things that have changed. I can't just sleep with anyone, can't just do anything I want. The change is interesting. The 21-year old me would, I'm sure, say it's sad and pathetic. But to me, here, now, I don't think it's so bad.

Yup. I've changed.

And here's a mini-spoiler alert before you read on. In case you want to see the film too.

I suppose one of the most interesting things about VCB is that Woody Allen doesn't give the fairy tale ending Hollywood films like these days. At the end, both Vicky + Cristina both have changed perspectives - Vicky suddenly realizes that what she'd always thought she wanted may not really be it after all; Cristina suddenly realizes that there is no such thing as perfection and that she isn't as open-minded and free-spirited as she'd always believed. But neither of their situations change: they had their two months of fun (although it was probably much more fun for Cristina than for Vicky!!) and then they have to go back to reality, to the same lives they led in the States.

And that, I think, is a true take on life. How many people can go on vacation, fall in love and live happily ever after? Yet this is the romantic illusion Hollywood loves to give. Just like that wonderfully romantic (is there an alternative word for romantic, I feel like I'm repeating myself here big time) film The Holiday. Honestly, how many men are there as beautiful and sweet as Graham!!

I know people like Cristina will never stop searching - searching for love, for life, for means of expression. My search stopped (well, kind of) when I realized that nothing matters but Jesus. I guess when you find Jesus and knows His love for you, then everything else becomes unimportant.

And yes, it's taken round about 29 years for me to realize this. May the search not take as long for you.

God bless.