A million thoughts running around my head. A million conversations with myself over the same thing. Just one reason why: because it is written in God's book that it is wrong.
At the ripe old age of almost-thirty, I can no longer do as I please. I am a much more responsible person (*coughs coughs*) and God comes first. Always - or as close to always as I can manage.
But that doesn't mean old feelings don't resurface, old doubts don't appear, old questions don't challenge. They do. All the time. And right now more than ever.
*sigh*
But I co-lead a PLUS. I was baptized into my church. I promised God. So I cannot. And I listen to Hillsong on full blast as I type this, as I try to get the thoughts out of my head and into cyberspace so I can stop thinking about it. You are my Lord, my everything.
I love you, God.
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