Friends.

I talked a lot last night. I haven't talked a lot in a while. I'm so blessed to have this one friend whom I can tell everything to. Everything. The most amazing thing about him, is that I have total confidence that he won't say anything to anyone, and also the fact that he knows exactly how to deal with the crap that I am going through -- by not talking about it ever again hahahaha...

It's interesting that with girls, if you tell them something, they will always come back to ask about it. But really, I don't want/need you to come back and ask about it (and yes, I know I am a fucking bitch). If I have anything more to say on the topic, or if there are any changes to the situation, I will let you know!! It's not like things will change if you ask about it. Leave me alone. Oh my goodness. What is wrong with me.

ANYWAY.

So it's been a weird couple of weeks for me. What with the freelance gigs, and the job change thing, and the whole family omgoodness don't-air-the-dirty-laundry-to-the-world-crap... And yesterday, I told him everything. We were standing on a balcony, and we basically stood there for two hours. And I talked non-stop almost. And it was weird, it was like once I started, I couldn't stop. I could not stop. All these things that had been bottled up inside me for weeks just came pouring out. And while I haven't told anyone about them, I've told God. So it's not like you know... it's not just inside my head. In any case. It's weird, now that I've told my friend, I feel like I can deal with the world better. Hahaha. As in, those problems don't come surfacing up to haunt me as much.

Of course, it's entirely unfair to my friend -- he who cannot tell anyone, and I mean, knowledge can be so evil. Because once you know something, you can never unknow it. Oh well. I suppose my family crap doesn't really affect him because while he's met my entire family, it's not like he sees them ever *sigh* Oh well.

I am honestly so blessed to have this one friend. Who cares if I'm a hermit and stay at home all the time and don't hang out and am secretly jealous of the friendships that people have... All I need is a couple hours with this guy and I'm happy. Hahaha. I really hope his getting married won't change things. Not that he's getting married yet. But it'll happen one day. Hmm.

Anyway. Okay. I'm gonna go finish reading my book. I'm stressed about the shoot I'm supposed to do on Saturday but what can I do. Oh well. It's all in God's hands, right. Phew.