And then it changed.

You know when you're looking forward to change, and then change hits you full on in the face and you realise you weren't quite ready for it? Yeah, that's me.

The funny thing is, the manager of my ex-boss (I handed in my resignation letter on 1st March, my last day was 8th March because I had so many comp days AND I only realised after I'd left, that I'd completely forgotten to factor in my annual leave as well *eyes roll*) just sent me a schedule tonight. The company I worked for has a history of not telling its staff what's going on. I'm really curious to know whether she accidentally sent it to me, or if she doesn't actually know that I've gone. Hahahaha. I didn't even open the schedule. I felt like it wasn't right. On the other hand, I didn't reply either. Is it my place to tell her?! Hahahaha. Hmmm... Hahahaha...

In any case. I still have unfinished business with my ex-boss. A couple of videos to edit and all. I freaking suck man.

Anyway. I cleaned my house today. And now I feel like I need to move... because my house doesn't feel like my house anymore. I realised today, after this Amazing Woman of Efficiency (AWE) threw away 5 years of my life, that I need the mess in order to create niches of space for myself to feel at home. And now that I have a nice spacious living room, I don't feel right in it. To the point where I don't want to stay in the living room at all. Which is bizarro because the last time the living room looked like this - or was this clean even - was 5 years ago. And one should be glad that one has a living room where one can see the floor. And do cartwheels in. Sigh.

I also realised that right now is the perfect time to clean up. Because the AWE threw away everything related to my ex-boss. Pedal board diagrams. Set lists. Equipment lists. Schedules. Pages upon pages of notes for videos, things to do, song lists, musician lists, reminders etcetc. Everything. I stopped her when it came to the backstage passes. I don't need them at all, but they represent three years of my life... Three wonderful years with a fantastic boss, to whom I'm quite indebted.

Change happens when you least expect it. I was kind of expecting it, but I definitely wasn't expecting it this soon. I'm so gonna miss touring with my boss. I'm going to be sitting at his next concert and thinking, man, I wish I were backstage. Helping him dress. Tuning his guitar. Checking his ear monitor pack. Or maybe I'll be over it by then. Sigh. I don't know.

In the meantime, I'm beginning to be able to listen to his songs again... I heard a really old song (from 2006, I think) the other day on the radio, and it actually made me smile. It's been a long time, and quite a journey. He really was the best boss in the world.