a long time ago.

Thought of the day: Would you be with /marry someone you love but are not in love with, because you think s/he needs someone to love her/him?

A long time ago, someone once told me that he thought I was perfect. He was the first person I'd ever met who didn't think with his dick. He thought with his heart, and his head. He told me that I was perfect, but that we came from two different worlds. Our styles, our cultures were so different, we would never make it work, and he didn't want to lose me completely because he loved me, and I loved him, and so for the rest of our lives so far, I have continued to love him and hold him in a special place in my heart.

I understand that the heart of a girl can have special places for many people, and the heart of a guy has space for his car and his motorbike and his current girlfriend, and perhaps a cat. Or dog. I get that. But he's special to me, regardless. I still remember our *ahem* harmless hour-long walks, my right hand in his left, stuffed into his jacket pocket because it was bloody freezing. Some of the best nights I've ever had. Just walking. At 4am. I understand that he's most likely forgotten about those days. And if he remembers, I'm sure he just thinks we were idiots back then. In our 20s. Not that we weren't... just idiotic kids :)

Said guy has stepped out of my life. It's strange to write that because to be honest, we'd stepped out of each others' lives a long time ago. We've both grown up, grown apart, we live lives that are vastly different, different from 10+ years ago, different from each other. We see each other when I make the effort to go to where he works. His co-workers always made fun of him, because I was often there. For him. I didn't even know until much later. But now, he's not anywhere anymore, not anywhere I can find, not anywhere I can go to, to see how he is. Although to be honest, he hasn't really answered the 'how are you' question properly in about ten years. It's never the same anymore, is it.

Sigh. God bless my gor. Please look after him.