Community.

I've been going to the same church for about 14 years now. The church has changed a lot, we've moved locations several times, and it's been long enough that even the senior leadership has changed (just once). It's gone from a church of about 60 people, where everyone knew almost everyone else (even when one chose to sit at the back and not "mingle"), to now a church of several thousand and growing. A growing church is always a sure sign of God's presence.

But in growth, there are also always growing pains. People who disagree with the choices the leadership make, people who aren't sure that we are heading in the right direction. It's all about faith and grace and encompassing love... But then there are also those who prefer the small church, who miss the times when everyone knew everyone else, who feel out of place now in a bigger auditorium and having to make small talk. I understand that too.

In the midst of what has been the worst week of my life so far, my God I hope that nothing ever gets worse than this, I realised today that I was tired and stressed because I was standing alone like an island. A Godly island, but still an island. And so today, I called upon five people, four of whom I met at church, three of whom I met at this current church, and the fifth girl, God was good enough to let me bring her to church about 12 years ago when she was lost and adrift. I asked them all to pray for me. I asked for specific things like grace and wisdom, favour and protection. Slightly different from each of them. And I realised right there, how important church is. How important community is.

For someone who has stood alone for a very long time, who understands from afar, the need for community, but never quite getting it, I finally get it. In times like these dark, awful days that I have been existing through, it's community that helps to step up, to stand alongside, even if physically in a different district, city or country. And while I can't share what's been going on, the fact that they all said yes, without question, doing so immediately, brings comfort and solace even as the future remains unknown and bleak.

May God bless the people around me, particularly those who love me unfailingly, those who He put beside me, to share my path and walk with me. May God bless my family, my whole family, who I love to the moon and beyond (even if I rarely show it).

May God show us all His grace and favour, wisdom and protection.
11 Dec 2015.