Courage. Or lack thereof.

I'm reading a book on courage and how self-doubt kills dreams, not failure, and that courage is feeling the fear and going forward anyway. It's not that one is not scared. It's that one gets scared but still fucking does it. And a true leader will own this mentality, and then take responsibility for succeeding, but also for failing. And one of the most basic questions in stepping up is, WHY NOT ME.

And I think about all the opportunities I've had these past two years to produce and line produce, and the truth of the matter is, I've never had the courage to do it.

The strange thing is, I absolutely feel like I can open a restaurant, and I absolutely believe that I can connect people in the music business, but in my own field, I feel like shit.

You have to have the courage to just do it. Fight for your dream. Thus stemming back to what the fuck my dream is. Thus leading to maybe producing isn't what I'm supposed to be doing and therefore I never feel like I'm right for the job.

Or maybe I just haven't failed at the restaurant thing yet, but I feel like I've failed a million times at producing. Maybe.

Sigh.