*sigh*

It's time for me to go home. HOME HOME HOME! But no. I'm still here and it looks like I won't be able to go until July 3rd. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'm flying out on the 4th to Sydney!! How am I supposed to be able to do everything I have to do in HK?! ARGH!!!! HELP!!!!!!! *sigh* I have this weird premonition that when I'm in Australia, my phone will still be ringing about stuff to do with this movie. It's all good... but roaming fees are very darned expensive.

Good grief. I just got this really cool email from The Vine... about Hillsongs. I'm so darned worried now... This is all really happening hahahaha and I am totally unprepared for it. ARGH. Typical me fashion I have to say.

*sigh* It's Friday. It feels like a Sunday. I begged off work today because it's the "seventh day" (our work week begins on a Saturday in Shanghai due to location shoots but for most people it has changed to the normal beginning on Monday thing... except we only just finished shooting on Monday which means today is my seventh work day and therefore I begged off work. My boss was not very impressed but he was kinda fed up with me I think so he said "Fine. Don't come to work then." And I was like "Oh. Okay. Bye." And hung up before he could change his mind.)

Why did the workaholic beg off work? The only reason I begged off work was because last night I went out to watch the England-Portugal game. Nuff said.

*sigh*

The great thing about last night, the only reason why I was still laughing even though England didn't get to the semis, was because I was hanging out with some great people. As I was talking to them last night, I realized that there were a lot of things going on in the movie that I didn't know about. I suppose it's a good thing that I didn't know or else I would have been so mad, and would have fought for certain things for them. But it's come to my notice that there are a lot of people on the movie who try to get more credit than they deserve. Who think they deserve all this credit and yet those under them suffer because of their incompetance. Crapness.

I wonder sometimes at the unfairness of the way people are treated in the movie. I know the same goes with life in general... but I hate it, loathe it, when I know about it and I can't do anything about it for a variety of reasons, such as finding out about it far too late *sigh*

In a way I've fallen in love with making movies. I love the buzz, love the fact that one doesn't need to sit at an office all the time, and that one can go to work in jeans or shorts. I love the energy that comes about as a result of a huge group of people working together. I love making movies. But I'm not sure I'd be any good. A highup exec from one of the studios who happens to be working on the movie, said to me I have to decide what I want to do, whether I want to continue in production and what I want to do. It's not good enough to be an assistant for life. Do I want to continue in production?

Maybe after Hillsongs I'll have a swerve in the path, that maybe I'll find something else I can channel my energies into and survive and have fun and love as much as I have loved my jobs in the past. Maybe.

Quarterlife crisis seems to be hitting again... I wonder why... when I know God is leading, what have I to fear?

I miss my friends, I miss the familiarity of Hong Kong, I hate the things here that I am not self-disciplined enough to resist. Just becuase one is in a foreign place, so what? That doesn't mean you can leave everything behind in HK and lead a life of... well... indulgence... for a month or two. Lucky for me, my job doesn't allow much free time. If not... I wonder what state I would be in now.

It's time to finish this. To go shower and think about getting out of bed. It's 3:30pm and I've not done anything today besides talk on the phone and arrange things for my boss for the coming week. Life is weird. I feel like switching off my phone for about a month when I get back to Hong Kong. But that won't work because the reality of no job and many friends will hit hahahahahaha. I'm sick and tired of hearing my phone ring when I'm asleep and need to get up for a conference call or to find my boss or to get him somewhere at a certain time and try not to be late. It's not what I have to do that's annoying. It's the phone. I hate phones. Ugh.

Pray that I can get back to HK before the 3rd. Pray that the golf thing in Phuket will work out so that my boss will travel Sunday to Guilin and onto Phuket from there. That way... I will be back in HK on the 28th. Please... if you have a little time... pray that I can come back to civilization and normality, away from temptation and independence from God.

See you guys soon :)
God bless.