Where is the light! Where is the light!

Day 19 of 21 is tomorrow, Saturday, June 18th. 21 days of shooting 2nd unit for this movie. Most people have left and gone. It was more felt than usual today and last night, the two times when people hang out. Most of the people I hang out with have left for better pastures - holidays or home... either seems to be better than being stuck here at work. Although I know for a fact that I will miss work once this is over and done with. I'll miss the people, the madness, the fun and the sheer crazy intense lack of sleep hahahaha...

'The light' in the title of this blog refers to the light at the end of the tunnel. Though shooting is due to finish in three days, I can assure you that I cannot yet see the light. I don't know where it is, don't know how much further along the way I have to go. I have mixed feelings about ending this job. For one thing I definitely need rest time me time friends time. On the other hand with my upcoming trip down under, I know I don't have enough money to hang out with my sister much let alone be able to give her some emergency cash. What a useless older sister. Still, I suppose it will be fun and with Dunedin being so darned cold, I'll probably never go out anyway hahaha...

The weird thing that I'm facing at the moment though is where God fits into all of this. I have never asked God what He thinks about this. I keep saying that we'll see what God has in store for me after the movie and blah blah blah... but I've never asked. I've planned the next month or two without consulting Him and who knows whether it's the right way to go. I never asked about Hillsongs, whether or not He thinks it's feasible for debt-ridden Davina to go, I never asked about New Zealand, whether or not He agrees that seeing my sister is important enough for me to just go without thinking... I've never asked Him about whether the coffee house in Shanghai is something I should do. I've just gone ahead and done it all. Or at least planned for it. And it's so... bizarre to ask about it later. It's like He comes second place. I guess in a nutshell, that's the case at the moment. How can I change that? I suppose it's a thing I gonna have to work on. Not I suppose... it just is.

I guess the biggest worry is that God will veto something I want to do. Hmph. Like go to New Zealand. On the other hand, if He approved maybe He would find me some cash. Hahahahahaha... *shakes head* This is ridiculous.

Okay. It's 9:30pm and I need to sleep. I'm tired and I have a 4:10 wake up call tomorrow. YUCK. I can't wait until I go home. I miss my friends!! Where is the light!!!!!!

God bless. Good night :)