Time.

Why do I hear so often that people don't wanna get old, that they are dreading turning 30 - actually they dread every birthday after 25 - that they wish they were young again, that they wish they were back in school blah blah blah... Gosh, I can't wait until I turn 30, not that I'm not enjoying my life in the weird in-between-time of being in between the mid- and late- twenties. I love it.

I've recently caught myself saying a number of times "I'm getting old". It's not a lament or a critical point or anything - it's just that I'm growing up. I've found that I'm really growing up and even my old old friend who I've been close to for the past 14 years, he couldn't quite believe it either. I think he's kinda proud of me for growing up. It wasn't a chosen process though, I have to say haha, it just kinda happened.

In a way I suppose people wish they were younger again because they had such a good time then which they are not having now. With age comes responsibility but you can have responsibility and a good life and fun at the same time, no? They are not mutually exclusive, it's just about having different priorities and a different way to life. And I hate to think that people who say they wish they were younger say it because they feel like they've taken the wrong road in life and that they wish they could do it all over again. What a waste of a life.

I guess it's weird that I should say that because I kinda know I'm headed down the wrong road right now, what with being so far removed from God. I mean He's always here, He's just quite prominent enough. And how I wish I had the heart to change it. I hate being successful enough to know where I'm going and earn enough money and enjoy my life. It just makes God seem so far far far far far away. And I dare not turn to Him because I don't want Him to take this all away... although knowing Him, He wouldn't do that because He knows how much I love it and He's always loved me so much. Hm. I don't know.

Anyway, here's the one movie I'm seriously looking forward to watching and the trailer is finally up officially (it was posted up after CNN ran it, but the film company - Focus Features, I think - asked all the websites which posted it to take the link off, and it was respectfully and nicely done which is why all the websites complied...) and I am looking forward to this movie like I have looked forward to no movie before - no wait, maybe in comparison to Star Wars which came out in May yay! But this is a completely different kind of movie, and BOY AM I LOOKING FORWARD TO IT! Yay Ang Lee!

Okay. God bless. My departure date has been postponed yet another week. Thank God, thank God because I really couldn't have left this week, I haven't even finished moving my house!! Anyhoo, if anyone knows any good churches in L.A. please please let me know. Thankee. I've never been to the States... and have no idea what to expect!! Argh!