Delusions.

We are - at least, I am - often deluded into thinking that if we/I move to a new place, we/I can start over. I do this every year, I think this is what autumn does to me. I always want to be somewhere else in autumn. I think I miss English autumns. And I want to go experience a New York autumn. I don't actually care. I just want to be somewhere in Europe or North America. I love autumn. Asian autumns just don't cut it.

Anyway. For a mixture of reasons - age, boredom, narcissism, a need-to-know, boredom - I've been thinking about moving away from Hong Kong to work. It's interesting that I don't actually have a "skill set" that I can use - I'm no director/visionary, I am not a designer, the best I can do is be a bartender which really doesn't quite cut it either - so I can't actually fathom what the heck I would do if I weren't in Hong Kong. But there's a part of me that just wants to go and experience life outside of this place.

I wonder if God will really give me a nomadic partner in life. I can't imagine having to stay in one place for the rest of my life. Or perhaps my Shanghai boy was the one guy who would have married me and loved me for the rest of my life, and I gave up on that.

But anyway. I think I am having delusions right now because I am bored with life. I'm blaming everything on boredom these days, but I am. Bored.

I should get back to work. Hmm.

God bless.