Discipline. Focus.

You know you're getting old when you stop being able to read white text on black backgrounds. It gives me a headache, and I see white lines everywhere I look afterwards. It is for this reason that I don't often read Jaeson Ma's blog. Unless someone has told me to read a certain post, in which case I might copy it and paste it somewhere so it's less of a headache... But yeah, it's kinda silly to not read a blog because of aesthetic reasons. Although it really does give me a headache *frowns* Aaaaanyway.

One of the reasons I like reading JMa's blog is because I see how much discipline goes into doing what he does. Discipline that I don't have, and I don't know where to find. There are times when I am jealous because he so obviously has this God-given dream and he is (or seems to be) walking along the path towards fulfilling it, but mostly I find it inspiring. I also find it interesting that I have conflicting emotions here, to be inspired yet jealous. How bizarrely human.

But I digress. As I do. So easily distracted. Such an easy target for the devil *eyes roll* JMa wrote:
For me, this can be really difficult, because to focus on what I’m called to do requires me to say no to what I am not called to do. Good is the enemy of great. Useful is the enemy of fruitful. Busyness is the enemy of passion. Activity is the enemy of excellence. There is so much I need to do, but there is also one thing I should do. Walk with God and be myself. Not be everything for everybody else.

I am not very much for very many people. I build up walls around me like I have treasure within that needs to be protected, so much so that no one ever calls for help, for prayer, to chat. I am not complaining, I much prefer to be alone, much prefer to not have to deal with other people's crap. Somehow, I don't see that as being conducive to being a light that shines. A light that shines enclosed within a ten-foot wall is quite useless really. Doesn't illuminate all that much.

But these couple of lines resonated around my brain, for while there are but few people who make demands on my time, there are many things that make demands on my time. Things that are a waste of time, actually. I mean, seriously, I have zero discipline... What can I achieve by spending hours playing Bejeweled or Sudoku or on fricking facebook?

So. Conclusion. Be silent. Take a deep breath. Clear you mind. Know what is important. Deny the urgent. Focus on your purpose. Decide. Work with all your heart. Leave behind something worthwhile. Envision the end, but take it one step at a time. May God give me strength to focus on Him and Him alone.

God bless.