Pep talk.

There's this guy I've known for four of five years. Throughout these years, we've hung out a couple of times - not more than ten, I think - usually to talk business. For some bizarre reason, he and his biz partner always want to work with me, and while I'm flattered and honoured and all of that, I also don't think I'm anywhere near as good as they think I am. Plus what they really need is a leader, and I'm not. I mean, I am, but not one suited for what they need.

In any case, I came up to Beijing to do what they asked me to do - produce things - but I feel so much safer here, because I'm just the second-in-command, a position I am comfortable with. Until I talked to my old friend, who has worked in the corporate side of film for the past six years. She gave me the look.

She said... "When I first started in corporate film, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. But I was given a task, and I just fucking got on with it. And, for fuck's sakes, it's about time you fucking got on with it. If you don't know how to do something, ask. You've made enough contacts over the years, and you know people you can ask. If you don't just fucking go ahead and do it, you'll never be able to do it, so just get on with it already."

It's true. I shy away from stepping up. I'm still surprised that the guy I'm currently working with would trust me enough to let me run a million-dollar-project here by myself for the most part. I mean, yeah we've known each other for ten years, and yeah I've done all his projects in HK for the past 5 years, but still. And he's surprised that I'm surprised. Which essentially tells me, that he thinks I am as good as the boys in the little HK company think.

Seriously. Just fucking get on with it.

God bless me.