Life beyond the movie.

The Movie. I have no regrets working on this movie. My one fear is the lack of money that is coming... But God will provide. Not that... well... the one thing I cannot understand is why He would want to provide for me since I am so crap - I don't take His word into account in my life, I hardly make it to church, I just pretty much disregard His ya know... will *sigh* Okay so yeah we humans can't really understand the way things are with God, why He could love us so much as to send His only Son to die for us... but really. Sometimes, I feel like I'm taking advantage of His love. And forgiveness. And despite feeling that, I do nothing about it.

I'm watching the snowboarding championships on ESPN at the hotel. While my boss and three VFX (visual effects) people are in a meeting. I'm sitting here pretending to be working hard and I'm actually watching the snowboarding championships. Boy are these people good. And Davina wonders when she will ever have the time to go skiing/snowboarding. Darn blast it.

Okay I have to go. I need to run downstairs and put my boss' golf stuff into the car. The stuff I took out without his knowing heh.

I really love this hotel. Love this life. But really... it kinda conflicts with my life in God. Or maybe it's just me. Hmph. It's so weird the feeling that I belong to God but I'm always scared that I'm not good enough, that because I know what I should be doing and I don't do it, that one day this will all go away. It's so much easier to live my life by God than to live in fear of that happening, but... somehow when it comes down to it, I choose to do what I want to do as opposed to what God wants me to do and then I live in fear *shakes head* I feel like a 5 year-old sometimes.

God bless. Have a great week :)