Beginning

The beginning of the end. Does not bode well. Hmph.

God given direction. God given dreams. Cold feet. Not good.

One wonders whether the whole Henan thing will work out. I'm not even sure if I can deal with it anymore. Will I survive eight months in Henan. I'm taking so long to get the contract signed and all the documents together... will they still want me?

Does God really want me in Henan? Do I really want to work in China?

I still want to go back to Shanghai. I love Shanghai. I want Shanghai to be a city alive for God. One wonders how on earth that might be possible. That's not for me to decide though - possible or not possible is only up to God. But my desire for Shanghai... is that mine or is that the 'God-given dream'?

Prayer. Pray.

Why are you going to Henan? What are you trying to escape from this time?

Financial issues. Rent contract. Step out in faith?

Life is so confusing. What should I do? How? When? And who the hell can I talk to? Who can confirm, affirm what God wants for me?

Read the Bible.

Disjointed thoughts. I miss Renee.

Need to go. No internet access. Might not be updating quite so frequently. Might have internet access in Shanghai though... so maybe another update soon. I hope. I love Shanghai.

God bless.