The gay post.

Okay. I can't remember if I've posted before on the whole gay issue but this post is a result of the many emails I have been getting slagging off Christians because some of us are 'unreasonable' and well, things just aren't getting better.

Oh so many years ago before I got baptized, I promised Pastor John that I would never go out with another girl because I want to put God first and even if I like girls well sod that because whatever happens in life, God comes first. And if I disagree with the Bible I'll do that privately (I didn't say that to Pastor John though I was thinking it... sorry) and not go out with another girl because for some reason, God decreed it to be so. Fine. I can live with that.

And now I have strayed in so many other ways that I suppose having a girlfriend doesn't make a difference. I don't have a girlfriend. I won't. I made a promise and I intend to keep it.

However. When I am asked about gay issues, I can only answer no comment. Out of church I usually say what I think - how can it be wrong if two people who love each other want to be together - but my official stance is no comment. I think I will get kicked out of The Vine soon for having views that are different and harming to the church. I do not look forward to that day...

I was actually asked why I decided to get baptized into The Vine. Why didn't I just look for a church with similar views. But I love The Vine and I agree that if we put God first then we do believe the Bible is His word and thus whatever the Bible says we should do. Wives have to be submissive to their husbands and there should not be female teachers of the law. And definitely no rolling around in bed with a person of the same sex. Am I wrong? This is just... I don't know, it's just another form of hypocrisy, no?

So anyway, I digress. Apparently after Hurricane Katrina, it was perhaps a magazine called Christian Voice (I don't know what Christian Voice is...) had the following statement: "What an expression of trust in God it would be if the people of New Orleans told the abortionists, the pimps and whores, and the homosexual tourists, 'Your presence has cursed us. We don't want you back'" And it is being emailed around because I have many friends in the gay circles of Hong Kong and the Christians are being told to f--k off in email subject titles and I just feel so bad, so sorry. Where is the love?

The gay issue has bugged me for so long now that I think I'm going to split into two soon. On the one hand we have the idealistic me who thinks that God should come first and it's the idealistic me because I am so bad at it and it's something I try to work towards and always fail miserably... and on the other hand we have the me that cannot understand why loving someone else is wrong and why if there are so many things in the Bible that were 'wrong' and are now do-able then why not this.

It's funny how people never (and I seriously mean NEVER. It's not like I haven't tried) want to talk about this issue with me. Is it because they know I have had a girlfriend and thus I am stained?!! Or is it because they are worried they won't have the answers to the questions I ask? I don't suppose anyone will be able to answer the questions that I have until Judgement Day when God will probably just answer me and then throw me down into the eternal fires of Hell. I know I'm supposed to go to Heaven. I just don't think that it's... right.

Back in the days of the girlfriend, I wanted to go study theology, to learn Hebrew and Greek so that I could do my own translation of the Bible instead of reading this version that is done by white men. That sounded so racist. I hope it sounded sexist too. I'm kidding. I'm sorry. Anyhoo. I just wanted to know what God really said. There are so many versions of things and you never know how much you can trust what you read *sigh* There are so many takes on the Jonathan/David relationship etcetc so many of these things. Doesn't help the already confused heart.

But anyway. I'm just sad that it's the Christians who seem to be pushing the gays away from church. I have met so many ex-Christian gays that I could start a church for them *sigh* It's just sad. I don't know what to say. I don't know. I'm sorry, God.

And thus ends my gay post. Muah. God bless.