January.

I had dinner tonight with three other film people, my ah jie included... and then for drinks afterwards, two others joined us, one of whom is a Shanghainese assistant director. Just listening to the way she talked with my ah jie, my heart dropped. After the terrible failure of last week, coupled with how much better this 'new girl' is... I just wanted to curl up and die. Or just kinda not ever work ever again. Curl up and die.

A couple nights ago, I went out for drinks with yet another film girl. She kept bugging me about working in China... so finally I blurted out my failings of the previous week. And, as all my friends do, they brushed it off saying that I can't have been that bad. I do understand that my friends love me to death. But why do people not accept that I suck at my job. Or that I suck at certain aspects of my job. Diu. And then I have to try to convince them that I really did a really fucking bad job. What's the point *sigh*

So anyway. That night at drinks, there was this other guy there, who actually in retrospect was kinda cute. But white. I sound so racist I'm sorry. What can I say. White guys just don't do it for me. (With the exception of the clown. But that was ten years ago. Haha.) Anyway film girl texted me before she left town, told me to keep in touch with white guy, told me that he 'likes' me. Whatever that means. And I actually thought of texting him today, because he was showing some reporter around and I was going to ask how it all went. But I didn't. Must stop the natural-born-flirt-thing. Haiii.

And oh look. It's the 14th. Happy birthday to my darling Shanghai boy.

God bless those who fail. And God bless my beautiful Shanghai boy...