Gel type Advil thingys

Available only in North America apparently. I haven't seen them in Hong Kong... and the normal regular Advil wasn't available in Shanghai so I suppose... I shall have to wait until these things can get imported into Asia :) I like Advil.

I missed church again. I'm beginning to feel that I'm never gonna make it to church. It's pathetic and ridiculous and I have no excuses. But it's bugging me so much and yet. And yet I don't hear the alarms that I set, the phone that rings. I should buy a hi-fi thingy that has the alarm function :) As if. I have 34.78 in my bank account.

There are so many things I want to do and so many things that I could do. I wish I could tell between what God wants me to do and what I want to do. I want to do everything. God, I don't think, wants me to do that. It'll kill me for starters haha, I'd have to separate into two or three or four. One often wonders why I am the way I am. Though I love it I suppose there are times when I don't know what I'm doing. It's good that it doesn't matter as long as I am following the Lord, but there are times even when I'm not sure I'm following...

I suppose it's best summed up in that quote that Ann forwarded me from Bonnie's page (who had taken it from someone else too I think haha). Forgive me for regurgitating it here:
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself and the fact that I think that I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
--Thomas Merton

So much thinking. I'm passing the quarter-century mark and there are forces that seem to be saying that I cannot do this for the rest of my life. This not knowing what I want to do. If I want to be a producer, I have to start now because no one's gonna hire me as a P.A when I'm 34. If I want to open a cafe, I have to start some sort of training somewhere now because it's gonna be harder to learn when I'm 31... If I want to go to China, I hvae to start learning more Mandarin now because languages get harder to learn as one grows older. So much thinking. Maybe I'm thinking too much. Advil. Advil. Where's my Advil.

But before I get back to the thinking perhaps I should just start to concentrate on the work I have now, that's late and overdue and that I have to finish in order to get paid. Why wasn't I an academic... I coulda just studied hard, got first honours, worked in uni for the rest of my life and been very well paid. Hmph.

Enough whinging. I now have another seven days to get my act together and wake up for church next week.

God bless :)