Extreme Makeover: The Self.

It's funny/interesting/weird/odd/strange/amusing how much I have changed over the past ten, fifteen years. I don't even know where to begin. Suffice to say, I have a lot of people to thank, but most of all, I am forever grateful to God for having chased after me all of these crazy years, and for never having given up. Relentless grace. Yes.

Anyway. Stubborn, independent, proud me thought I would always be stubborn, independent and proud, even when I asked God to change me... I suppose - being the typical Hong Kong person - I was just really impatient, and kinda expecting the change to happen overnight. It didn't. But it's happened... and it's weird... because there are times when I really miss that side of me. I'm so glad I'm not like that anymore, but I still miss it. That old lifestyle. Ahhh.

The more I get to know people, the more I see how people deal with very similar issues. The symptoms may be different, the responses may be different, but the issues are often the same... and I don't see how anyone can change, unless they find God. I don't know how God got through to me, I don't know what possessed me to pray that prayer asking for change, even when I didn't really believe it could happen. I mean, I had faith that somehow God could do it, but I didn't think I could do it. Strange brain. Always at odds, always in conflict. Ignorance is bliss - and yet we are no longer ignorant, thanks to Adam, Eve and that stupid snake.

It's honestly such a weird feeling, to not want to feed someone cliche Christian lines (even if it is the truth, because I've been there done that, and I didn't listen, ever), and yet to feel like nothing else would actually work... I guess it's just... a matter of right time right place right person... because that's how it worked for me. Right time. Right place. Right person. And lots and lots of God.

There's so much sadness and hate in the world. Hai.

God bless the world... God bless His people...