I am sitting at the cowhouse using my PowerBook. I like using my Mac. I don't like PCs. I'm biased and pathetic... but maybe I'm just used to my own things.
Today was a beautiful day, the sun was out when I got up and I was so happy. And then on my way to work I stopped to buy a muffin and it's been a while since I saw the double chocolate chip muffin at Mrs. Fields, and I was SO HAPPY to see it hahahaha... I asked them why they haven't been making the double choc chip muffin, and I found out that they actually make it on alternate days. And because I work Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I never see it. Dood man. If I hadn't gone to work today, I would never have known.
En route to the cowhouse, I stopped by Starbucks to get my vanilla latte, and as I come out of Starbucks who should I see but my darling little sister. Hahahahaha. The first thing she said was I'm late for work. I looked at my watch and she burst into laughter and said So are you. Heh. The pathetic DTos, I tell you. I hope my dad isn't like that wahahahahahahahaha...
Anyhoo. I finally went to the bank to change stuff for the company. I almost had a fit. The damned bank. I love my bank, I have to say that again and again. I think Hang Seng Bank is a fantabulous bank. But anyway. I had a tough time there and almost smashed the glass partition at the counter. Honestly. I really just wanted to kill someone. I'm a nice person. Well. Maybe not, I'm thinking now. Anyhoo. I get back to the cowhouse in a darned huff, I was honestly so pissed off. And finally, finally, the whole story comes out and I finally understand what's going on in the cowhouse with all the different accounts and things. Geez man.
I have anger management issues, I think. I told my ex I have anger management issues. She said she thinks some of this anger is coming out as the itch. She could be right. I think I will get better when I bash the program director's head against the wall. Everything is chaotic and in a mess, and half the reason is because he doesn't tell me everything I need to know. Geez. Damned incompetence.
Perhaps this is all good training for me. I've always thought that God puts me in places for a reason, and perhaps this is my chance to learn tolerance and patience and sorting things out without blowing my top. I haven't learnt it yet. I guess maybe I'm going to have to stay here longer than I want to. Uh oh. That's not a nice thought.
I long for the day when I can deal with everything (and everyone) with a smile on my face. That hasn't happened yet.
Like that girl/woman/female person at church who suddenly came up to me and said You're not happy and I was like What?! and she goes I saw you just now, you're not happy and I'm thinking - who the hell are you - and reply with a laugh, Oh maybe I'm just tired. And she shook her head and said I don't think so. Yeah well, who the hell are you anyway. Mind your own business. And that's why I like to stay at the back and leave soon afterwards and not have to answer random people who I don't know. Geez.
Okay. Anger management. I have problems. Ugh.
God bless. And God bless that girl/woman/female person. Maybe she was just trying to be nice. I'm the bitch. Always have been.
Tuesday, 28 March 2006
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3 comments:
maybe that was God trying to talk to you
I'm not trying to defend whoever that person was, but I'm sure that she was probably trying to be nice. I guess it didn't come across that way, so I'm sorry about that. Here's a thought, maybe it's because you sit at the back and look like you're ready to escape as soon as possible, that people think you look unhappy? Maybe not, who know's just a thought.
Mac's rule BTW. Don't even touch that PC crap :)
anon - you referring to the girl/woman/female person? maybe. really didn't seem like it tho cos she was on her way out, "gon ju" (in a rush) she said to her friend... i don't think God just meant to tell me i'm not happy because He and i have much agreement on my state of mind you know...!!
tom - i think she was trying to be nice too. which is why i seriously think i have problems hahahaha. i spent a whole week wondering why i am so bitchy... something needs to change here, i think that something is me.
i suppose it was because the coment was so throwaway. she was on her way out, had told her friend she was in a rush, she took her bag up off the sofa, and then looked at me and said nay mm hoi sum ah (you're not happy)... and i honestly just wanted to ask her who the hell she was. anyhoo. never mind. it's a new day, a new week...!!
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