Doubts.

On any given Sunday, I can be found watching football at the usual hangout. The fact that Liverpool, Chelsea and Manchester United played yesterday - at three different times no less meaning I could watch them all - meant that today after church I had sod all to do. I'd been invited to a birthday bash but there were two birthday girls and I didn't know one of them, and the fact that I am broke as *&%$ meant that I would've had to sit there and watch other people eat.

So home I went. And onto the internet I went. What's new. And the funny thing is, I surfed onto this girl's xanga site. She calls herself Daisign, she's a designer, her last name is Dai. I've worked with her on two productions - actually no. I have never worked with her so to speak. She's a designer, I rarely get to hang with designers. Plus my rep was so bad in the art department I honestly don't know what the girl thinks of me. Hahaha. But we have both worked on the same two movies, and she has had an influx of more.

And thus the doubts begin. What exactly has happened? She continuously has work. Okay, so maybe she's had time off too, but nothing like this extended period of down time that I am enjoying. Or was enjoying until I decided I need to work...!! Perhaps I should have left the last production to work on the Edward Norton when I had a chance. Perhaps. But my boss was great and I'd never seen any post-production in progress. Who knows which choice is the 'right' choice?

The weird thing is that I know the answer to that question. Supposedly. And I've very rarely ever done it - ask God. I usually consult the Higher Powers when I have two juicy offers and I have no clue which to take. But never when I actually have no choice. It's weird. It's perhaps the way I've been brought up or just the way my brain functions (or not really hahaha). Anyhoo.

I wonder what God has in store for me if not film. I hope it's not the cowhouse. I am so sick of the cowhouse already. But well. I have much to thank God for - mainly the fact that He let me sleep. I don't think this itching is going to go away, and it's worse when I go to bed. It was pretty bad at church today though, weirdly enough. I now have a swollen middle and ring fingers and the pinky all on my left hand. Hai.

Maybe I should really try Chinese medicine. But there are so many on the street how do you know which is authentic/good/... whatever. And anyway. Maybe I'll go when I find a job with medical.

God bless :)