Sleep problems.

I am suffering from serious sleep problems. I don't know whether it's serious enough to see a doctor though, because my sleep problem is just plain weird: I cannot get up. I've never heard of that being a medical affliction or ailment and thus I am honestly not sure whether or not I should actually go and see a doctor.

For the past twenty-odd years, I've always thought of my inability to wake up or get up a result of my utter lack of discipline and determination. And the odd thing is, I do get up when I'm making movies... Hm. I don't know. I don't know what my problem is.

I couldn't get up yesterday. I haven't been getting up lately at all. I got up at 7pm yesterday, when my friend came home and woke me to make sure I wasn't dead. I'd slept 15 hours. And no, I'm not sleep-deprived the rest of the week.

My utter inability to get out of bed is not a legitimate reason for anything. As Derek said, Pain or depression or (something else can't remember what) are valid reasons for not going to church... not getting up isn't. That isn't exactly what he said, but close enough. And yeah, I can totally imagine the faces of the people I work with when I tell them that I didn't show up yesterday and I didn't call in sick because I was completely conked out. I just didn't get up. How the hell could I have used the phone. It makes perfect sense to me. It will probably piss them off more than they already are.

I am no longer amused. I make all these resolves to get up the next day, it never happens. It's probably the number one item on my prayer list - not the itchy, nor the job-finding. Argh. Is it not happening because I have no faith? Or is God telling me to quit worrying about the sleeping thing and enjoy the sleep while it lasts because when He gets me a job, I ain't gonna have much sleep time. Har Har Har.

A friend of mine said, It's okay, the only reason you aren't getting up is because you don't like your job. It could be true. But then... it's so childish and immature to only do what one likes. Life is not perfect. Hmph.

Anyway. You might be wondering why I'm up at 5am. It's cos I can't sleep. Not because I slept too much last night.... because I'm worried the exact same thing is gonna happen tomorrow. Not that it matters. I've probably already been fired.

God bless.